I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
soo... how was my night?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
