I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
