"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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