my sisters under your porch take her home
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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