ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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