Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We smell like vodka and hangover
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