it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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