When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
