I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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