Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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