Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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