i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
