Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
