dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize