Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
