I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
