I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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