How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
