I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
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Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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