Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
