I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
