can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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