I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sext me about skeletons
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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