I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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