i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Your penis caused this!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
