May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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