There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
