I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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