i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
