I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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