YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
