we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize