let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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