She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I touched a dick in church today
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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