i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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