I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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