the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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