Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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