She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
