I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I have post one night stand depression
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
