His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
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Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
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how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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