Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
