dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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