I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
