WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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