Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
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