So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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