Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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