Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
