my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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