i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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