So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
