ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
