Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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