i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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