have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
