I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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