Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize